Codependency is all too common. What’s worse, it keeps you from experiencing healthy and mutual relationships with those who matter most. Here’s what codependency is: codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another.
How do you know if codependency is true for you in your relationships?
Here are five symptoms:
- You feel responsible for other’s needs and problems
- You can’t handle being misunderstood or must clarify when misunderstood
- You can’t bear when others have negative feelings about you
- You need others to be okay with you so you can be okay with you
- You can’t say “NO” without explaining or justifying
Becoming aware of when or whether codependency is true for you is a CRITICAL first step in the healing process. As you heal, the hope is that you will re-negotiate the relationships in your life so that they are healthy and mutual.
Will they leave if you start saying “no” to the co-dependent role you have played in their life? Maybe. Will they reach back and be willing to work out a healthy, mutual relationship with you? It’s possible. Is it worth it to re-negotiate codependent relationships so you can experience more with them? Absolutely.
Healthy relationships work like this:
- You are willing and able to have your feelings with them
- You can ask for what you need or want with them
- You are willing to hear “no” when you ask
- They are willing and able to have their feelings with you
- They can ask for what they want or need with you
- You are willing to say “no” when they ask
Your heart is essential for growing healthy relationships. “The Heart System” is the place where your true wants and needs reside, as well as where your feelings live. If you aren’t willing to care about the feelings that are true inside of you, you will not be able to honor the feelings, needs, or wants of others. This is how relationships become codependent in the first place: two people play roles for each other because they don’t know how to show up as their true, authentic selves.
In Plumline’s Heart Program, “Growing Healthy Relationships,” you can begin the journey to rescue and reconnect your own heart. Many of our alumni will tell you that the most neglected part of their spiritual anatomy is the heart part of them. After all, so many of us have been told that our feelings are the enemy of true spiritual work. But this is not true. How can you experience deep and connected relationships with God and others if you are disconnected to what is true inside of you?
Our “Growing Healthy Relationships” program is a weekly experience consisting of 12 sessions that is designed to restore and nourish your heart. The program is offered either virtually, or live and in-person in Franklin, Tennessee. During our program, you will learn to identify the feelings true inside of you, and you will grow your capacity to honor them. A critical part of our process is helping you confront lies that have emerged from your wounding experiences and worked their way into your operating system. These lies are robbing you of real connection and deep meaning in life. You will finish the program with new emotional skill sets, relational tools, and fresh truth to replace your core lies. Essentially, you will gain everything you need to care for your own heart, through which you can experience lasting connection with God, others, and yourself.
Learn more or apply for a group by clicking the link here!
Here’s to kicking codependency and experiencing more in your relationships. . .
You are worth the effort.